A guide to verboseness

Many human individuals in this day and age we live in utilize the amount of words that are needed to express the thoughts and opinions they, the human individuals, try to communicate. This is a problem, since more and more people are economical; that is, they say what they have to say, and they stop, close, cease, conclude, desist, end, finish, suspend, and terminate. What will follow this opening introductory paragraph is a guide to try to utilize the maximum amount of words as what is possible under present circumstances.

Throughout this guide, this sentence will become increasingly verbose: "After holding it in all day at work, the blonde teenage girl rushed to the bathroom."

How to Make a Sentence More Verbose

 * 1) Substitute words for more pretentious choices. A thesaurus will aid you in this endeavor; there's also a list of inflated word approximations below. Here is what our sentence becomes: "After storing urine in her bladder for her entire shift at her workplace, the blonde adolescent female hurried to the lavatory."
 * 2) Turn words to clauses. This is usually done via substituting several words that approximate the meaning of one. Example: "After storing urine in her bladder for the entire duration that she was required to perform tasks at her place of occupation, the adolescent female whose hair was blonde moved with haste to the lavatory in order to excrete urine and alleviate her bladder."
 * 3) Delay the subject. The phrases there is, there has, it is, and it has delay subjects; although they have some use in concise writing, in most cases they have no discernable value to add and are perfect for wordiness. However, these phrases will not always be beneficial to wordiness and will appear useless; since our example sentence is one of those cases, unfortunately we'll have to ignore this step.
 * 4) Repeat the meaning of words pointlessly. Example: "After storing urine in her bladder for the entire duration of time that she was required to perform tasks at her workplace of occupation, the adolescent female human individual whose hair was blonde moved rapidly with speed to the lavatory in order to excrete urine and alleviate her bladder."

You can also do other things, such as changing the sentence structure in a way such that it becomes possible to add more verboseness to it. Example: "After storing urine in her bladder for the entire duration of time that she was required to perform tasks at her workplace of occupation, the adolescent female human individual whose hair was blonde moved rapidly with speed to the lavatory in order to excrete urine and alleviate her bladder," becomes the following: "The adolescent female human individual whose hair was blonde moved rapidly with speed to the lavatory in order to excrete urine and alleviate her bladder on account of the fact that she had accumulated urine in her bladder for the entire duration of time that she was required to perform tasks at her workplace of occupation."

Contrast the original sentence and the final product (which has a few more words that are a result of applying the steps above):
 * "After holding it in all day at work, the blonde teenage girl rushed to the bathroom." (16 words)
 * "The adolescent female human individual whose hair was blonde moved rapidly with speed to the lavatory in order to excrete urine and alleviate her bladder on account of the fact that she had accumulated urine in her bladder for the entire duration of time that she was required to perform tasks at the place of occupation she was currently employed at." (61 words, a 281.25% increase!)

Inflated Words and Phrases

 * about: approximately, in the proximity of equivalence to
 * because: because of the fact that, by cause of, by virtue of the fact that, due to the fact that, for the reason that, in light of the fact that, on account of the fact that, owing to the fact that
 * because of: due to, on account of, owing to
 * before: before the event that, before the point in time when, earlier than, preceding, preceding the event that, prior to, prior to the event that
 * begin: commence, originate
 * best: optimal, most favorable
 * better: higher in quality, superior
 * boundaries: parameters
 * can: has the ability to
 * parts: components
 * prison: correctional facility
 * equals: is equivalent to, is precisely equivalent to
 * except: with the exception of
 * for: considering the nature of, considering the usual character of, for the purpose of, in favor of, on behalf of,
 * help: aid, assist, facilitate
 * if: granting that, in the event that, on the condition that,
 * impossible: an impossibility, not possible under present circumstances
 * luckily: as luck would have it
 * now: at the present time, at this point in time
 * read: peruse
 * possible: a possibility, possible under present circumstances
 * showy: ostentatious, sumptuous
 * sign: indicator
 * though: granting it to be the fact that, in spite of the fact that
 * until: until such time as, until the event that, until the point in time when
 * use: utilize
 * work: specified task